AMERICA'S BAGHDAD BOB
David J. Stoddard
6/23/2007

It is easy to remember Saddam's spin doctor appearing on Arab television
during the invasion of Iraq. He was a comical figure wearing a beret giving
frequent press conferences in which he made outlandish claims about
coalition forces getting routed, quashed, captured and otherwise defeated as
U.S. troops demolished all opposition.

Good ole' "Baghdad Bob" made us chuckle and roll with laughter as a split
T.V. screen showed him speaking on one side and Iraqi forces fleeing like
mice on the other.

I liked Baghdad Bob. He did his job well. He was a mouthpiece for Saddam
regardless of the facts. And, he provided material for late night
television for months after he disappeared. I remember Baghdad Bob fondly.
As far as I know, he never hurt anybody.

He just appeared periodically in his spiffy uniform and beret and told
bald-faced lies with a straight face. That is an ability the morally
challenged have mastered.

The Chief of the U.S. Border Patrol is a fellow named David Aguilar.
Aguilar was appointed to his chiefdom by former INS Commissioner Doris
Meissner. Meissner was appointed by former President Bill Clinton. Clinton
didn't appoint Meissner because of her ability to get any job done or any
ability in any particular area except for one. Doris Meissner is a superb
political hack.

Doris Meisnner appointed a Deputy to oversee INS enforcement operations,
(including the U.S. Border Patrol) named Robert Bach. Robert Bach had made
propositions that "America is too white". Bill Clinton, Doris Meissner and
Robert Bach embarked upon a systematic dismantling of immigration interior
enforcement while still maintaining a façade of border enforcement.
Interior Border Patrol Stations were shut down. Interior Border Patrol
operations taking illegal aliens off the streets of our cities were
prohibited. The Border Patrol was limited to a narrow band of activity in
the immediate area of the border. And, those border enforcement activities
were severely limited.

Keep in mind that the moniker "Border Patrol" might be misleading. Border
Patrol officers are federal officers with jurisdiction in all 50 states and
all territories of the United States. They are Federal Agents with the
entitlements, protections and authorities the title denotes with full
authority under the law to enforce Title 8 of the United States Code, some
provisions of Title 21, Title 19 and Title 18.

Well, Doris Meissner appointed David Aguilar to the position of Chief in the
Tucson Sector. Aguilar was not appointed because of any special ability to
lead. Nor, does he possess any special knowledge, accomplishments or
abilities except perhaps, that of token. He got and kept the chief's job
simply because neither Meissner, Bach nor Bush wanted an effective person
actually doing the job.

David Aguilar is quite adept at 'spinning" the truth. For example, when
Rancher Roger Barnett complained of thousands of illegal aliens marching
across his Arizona ranch, David Aguilar informed Roger that they are "hikers
and campers"

Aguilar is adept at coining nonsense. Another example: Aguilar at frequent
press conferences in Tucson always pronounced that the Tucson Border Patrol
is gaining "operational control". What the hell is that? How does that
differ from just having control? Of course, sprinkled into his speech are
nonsensical phrases like "as we speak" and "work in progress". What happens
when we are not speaking, Aguilar? Are we still making progress with our
mouths closed?

Shortly after Aguilar assumed the stars of chiefdom, he attended a LULAC
conference in Texas. Did that not reveal his sincerity to his sworn oath?
Or, did it reveal his true allegiances?

Aguilar has done extremely well for a "Valley Boy" with a GED. (Note:
"Valley Boy" is a derogatory term reserved by seasoned Border Patrol Agents
to denote an agent from the Lower Rio Grande Valley of Texas.) It's usually
not good to be referred to as a "Valley Boy". Let's just say that Valley
Boys march to a different drummer.

The Bush administration appointed Aguilar to the highest post in the Border
Patrol, and that is Chief of the Border Patrol in Washington, D.C.

Immediately after Aguilar assumed the position, he created a lot of new
positions within the Border Patrol there and surrounded himself with
sycophants. Of course, they all have to wear stars and Aguilar has to wear
more stars than the others. Consequently, when you see him on T.V. or out
strutting around with his entourage, his collars are weighed down with
little silver stars much like General MacAuthor. Totally ostentatious and
self aggrandizing.

The latest is that Aguilar has been voted a resounding "No Confidence" vote
by the rank and file of the Border Patrol. This is a first in history.
This is indicative of his lack of leadership and original thought. It is
certainly an indication that the men (and women) in the Border Patrol think
he is a dork and don't trust him.

On the 14th of this June, Aguilar held a huge four-hour meeting in Tucson
with the Agents of the Tucson Border Patrol.

During this meeting Aguilar used vulgarities and attempted to silence any
disagreement within the Patrol by throwing his weight around and making
veiled threats to all who oppose him. Obviously this was in response to the
"No Confidence" vote. Aguilar also made disparaging remarks about the
physical appearance of Andy Ramirez, the leader of a group called "Friends
of the Border Patrol".

I know Andy. He is a loyal American. He is engaged like the rest of us to
save the nation we hold so dearly from Bush's massive giveaway to those who
have sneaked into America, demanded everything and sacrificed nothing. Andy
may not appear all macho like the Incredible Hulk. But Andy has been
battling MS for many years and no doubt his medications have had their
effects upon his body.

Good shot, David Aguilar. Your comments are a reflection upon your
character or lack thereof. You should be proud of yourself, Mr. Aguilar.

At this June meeting in Tucson, Aguilar told the troops that he does not
support an amnesty. Yet, Aguilar is on record when he testified before
Congress that the best way to secure the borders is to "bring the aliens out
of the shadows" and Aguilar stated that he is in favor of Bush's
"Comprehensive Immigration Reform" package. If that's not Amnesty, what is
it?

During yet another recent press conference in Washington, D.C., Aguilar
stated the he must "manage the expectations of the public". What? Does
that mean lying to the public? Does that mean to mince words and spin
phrases to such a great degree that the public has no expectations of the
Border Patrol? What exactly are you saying, Mr. Aguilar?

Next time you see a short man, wearing many stars and a green uniform before
a podium and a microphone making profound statements such as, "As we speak,
it is a work in progress, we are gaining operational control of the
expectations of the public", just sit back and visualize good ole Baghdad
Bob, and envision a beret on Aguilar's head as in the background Washington,
D.C. is overrun by Mexicans, Salvadorians, Hondurans, Guatemalans and Middle
Easterners. Please have a good laugh, just as I do every time I see Chief
of the Border Patrol-Napoleon-General Mac Author, and Baghdad Bob all in one
personage, David Aguilar.